We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
