Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
