I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
