Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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