She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
