I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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