How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
