Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
