I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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