Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
