Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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