i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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