I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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