Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
