He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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