I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
