as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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