im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
