hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
