hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Princesses don't give blow jobs
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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