sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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