i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you will always have a special place in my vag
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
