no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
