There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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