Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
