i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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