why didn't you poke me back
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
