toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
her vagine was all disorganized.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
