I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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