I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
