you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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