I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
