I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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