Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
