he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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