Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize