dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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