WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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