I seem to have left my pride at pride
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
