first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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