Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
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