all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize