we have officially lost it.
I wish I could teleport
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
