Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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