awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
