It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
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She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
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Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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