Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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