that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
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She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
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I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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