I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
