So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
