it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
