I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
