OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
