what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
