Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
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