New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
