I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize