It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
