Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize