I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
