nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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