im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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