She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Acid is not a monday night drug
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
this just has baby written all over it
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
When are your genitals available?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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