Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
