; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
