Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
