butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
