That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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